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Sometimes I'm not sure in specific sentence, can I write it here to get opinion about it?

Not always I can explain what is the doubt that I have, it's more about the wording (I would like that it will sound as much as native).
For example in the following sentence:

"When drinking sweetened drink (such as cola) is it coming to the kidneys as water molecules?"

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No . . . Yes . . . Well, it just can't be answered in one word. Dang it!

Proofreading questions are off-topic on ELL; unless you "provide a source of concern".
For example, this:

Is my sentence grammatical?

I just wanted to know if my sentence is grammatical. Here it is:

When drinking sweetened drink (such as cola) is it coming to the kidneys as water molecules?

Would raise the alarms as a proofreading request. It'll be closed as such. However, you can easily "limit it to what you wanna, say, check". Like this:

"is it coming" vs. "does it come"

I recently wanted to comment on this question on this SE site. However, I ran into a problem when deciding on which structure to use:

When drinking sweetened drink (such as cola) (is it coming/does it come) to the kidneys as water molecules?

(Optional) I know that the progressive aspect is used for an action that is . . . while simple present tense is used for . . .

I wouldn't imagine this question's closure (see this). As an alternative, you could check these sites out.

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